You Don’t Need to Get Better at Networking
The burnout of being "on"
You've read the tips:
— Send 10 DMs a day.
— Get coffee with someone influential.
— Always follow up even if they're not responding.
But here's what no one tells you:
The pressure to network "professionally" often means we show up in costume.
Smiling on cue. Asking safe questions.
Speaking in soundbites that feel nothing like us.
Especially for ADHD professionals, that pressure isn't just exhausting—it's fracturing.
Masking becomes the norm.
Shapeshifting into the "ideal hire" or "perfect peer" starts to feel like the price of entry.
But the connections we make from that place?
❌ They don't stick.
❌ They don't open doors.
They feel hollow—because we're not really in them.
Connection is resonance
What if networking didn't have to feel like a role you're playing?
What if the people who'd actually support your growth—the mentors, collaborators, hiring managers—are only reachable when you stop hiding the parts of you that don't "fit the mold"?
Because here's the truth most career advice skips:
✅ Resonance matters more than reach.
✅ Alignment beats access.
And you don't need to impress everyone—just connect with the right few.
Build connection from alignment
Let's flip the script.
The most powerful conversations don't start with a pitch—they start with a mirror.
Try this instead:
1️⃣ Start with shared values, not small talk
Skip the weather. Lead with why their work matters to you—or what drew you to them as a human, not just a title.
2️⃣ Position yourself as a curious peer, not a perfect expert
No need to posture. Curiosity creates safety—and safety creates trust.
3️⃣ Design low-pressure conversations that invite resonance
Instead of asking for time, ask for insight. Instead of proving your value, show your alignment.
("I noticed you talk about neurodiversity in hiring—can I ask how that's shaped your team?" hits way different than "Can I pick your brain?")
Good relationships don't need scripts
Here's what changes when you stop networking for approval and start reaching out from alignment:
You're less drained after calls—because you're not holding your breath
You follow up naturally—because the conversation meant something
You attract roles, mentors, and collaborators that actually fit you
And when things don't click? It's filtering, not failure.
Connection isn't a tactic at all—in fact, it's more like a mirror.
The relationships that change your career aren't built through hustle. They're built through honesty.
Because the most magnetic version of you?
Is the one that feels safe being seen.
Connection is allowed to feel easy.
When it's real, it often does.
