Why ‘Connect’ Isn’t Connection
Ever noticed the more you smash 'Connect,' the more disconnected you feel?
Click. Connect. Wait for magic.
And then… nothing.
No new conversations. No meaningful replies.
Just another name added to someone's list—and another missed opportunity to actually get noticed.
It's the biggest myth of all: that LinkedIn connection requests build relationships.
They don't. They bury them.
I learned this the hard way by falling for the numbers game.
Send enough connection requests, and the relationships will follow, right?
Here's what actually happened:
— A silent inbox
— A growing list of strangers
— A sense I wasn't getting anywhere
Sound familiar?
And here's the irony:
If you're job searching or pivoting right now, connection is exactly what you need most.
But chasing connection requests is the surest way to stay disconnected.
Why smashing connect doesn't work
Here's what's actually happening:
When someone gets your connection request—without shared interaction, without visible presence—they don't feel a spark of connection.
They feel:
— "Why now?"
— "Who is this?"
— "What do they want?"
And once you're in their network without context or conversation, inertia kicks in. The moment is lost.
Now you're just another name in a long list.
And that's not your fault. LinkedIn makes it feel like the connect button is how you start relationships.
But relationships don't start with a click.
They start where trust grows — out in the open.
How real relationships are built
If you want to build relationships that move your career forward—whether that's finding opportunities, collaborators, mentors, or friends—here's what actually works:
1. Follow the voices that matter to you
Start with curiosity.
Find the people whose posts make you think. Whose work resonates. Whose insights align with where you want to go.
(And don't just follow the big names. Usually, the most meaningful connections come from those who are a few steps ahead of where you are now.)
2. Leave thoughtful comments
This is where real visibility happens.
A smart, thoughtful comment is more memorable than a connection request 100x over. Add your take. Ask a great question. Share a related experience.
Suddenly, you're not a stranger. You're a name with a voice.
3. Share your voice, your story, your perspective
Your profile matters. But your presence matters more.
When you post—even once a week—people get to know your thinking. They get to see your values. They start to trust you.
And that trust is the fuel for real relationships.
What doesn't work
Too many job seekers fall into these traps:
Mistake #1: Smashing connect without showing up
➝ Connections mean nothing if people don't know who you are.
Mistake #2: DMing strangers with "Can I pick your brain?"
➝ This instantly puts pressure on the other person—and undermines the chance for an organic relationship.
Mistake #3: Asking for help before giving value
➝ Networking isn't about getting help. It's about building mutual trust over time.
The shift that changes everything
When you stop chasing connection requests—and start joining real conversations—everything shifts.
Now when you do send a connection request, it's warm. It's contextual. It makes sense.
And more importantly, you'll find that the connections start coming to you.
Because when people see you giving first, they want to connect with you.
Most people have it all wrong.
Networking isn't asking for help.
Networking is all about giving first.
Real connection starts where you give, not where you click.
