The Hardest Message You’ll Ever Send
The hardest click: open
You opened LinkedIn after months of silence, and it felt less like reconnecting and more like walking into a crowded room naked, right?
That freeze is real.
You’re not just writing a message. You’re dragging yourself through a fog of shame, fear, and “what if they notice I’ve been gone?”
With ADHD, that moment can feel even heavier. The platform feels louder. The stakes feel higher.
And instead of reaching out, you ghost your own network.
The invisible weight of reactivation
Reactivating your network isn’t about clever phrasing or flawless copy. It’s about the spike in your chest when you hover over “send.”
Your brain runs a whole script in those three seconds.
What if they notice how long it’s been?
What if I sound needy?
What if they don’t reply at all?
That swirl makes the message feel ten times heavier than it is. And that’s usually when you stall, rewrite, or just close the tab.
You don’t need the perfect line.
You need something that actually sounds like you, shaky hands and all.
Why polish backfires
The more you polish, the more distance you create. Every extra edit pushes your message further away from how you actually talk.
Think about it: the person you’re writing to already knows your voice.
They’ve heard you on calls, in meetings, in the hallway. So when your message shows up sounding like a press release, it doesn’t land.
That’s usually when the self-doubt spiral kicks in.
You tweak the wording.
You second-guess the tone.
You convince yourself silence is safer.
But the reality is the message that works is the one that feels human, even if it’s messy.
It’s the one that sounds like you.
Three ways to restart
When you’re ready to break the silence, don’t overthink the “perfect” opener.
Use these as simple doors back in:
1. Start with context, not apology
“Hey, it’s been a while. I’ve been head-down in work and realized I’ve lost touch.”
A little context grounds the message. An apology makes it heavier than it needs to be.
2. Anchor in something real
“I saw your update about the new role, congrats! I’d love to hear how it’s going.”
People want to feel noticed, not pitched. Recognition opens the door faster than polish ever could.
3. Keep the ask small
“If you’re up for a quick coffee or a 15-minute catch-up, let me know.”
Shrinking the step makes it easier for both of you to say yes.
These aren’t scripts. They’re scaffolding.
The win isn’t finding the perfect sentence. It’s sending one honest line.
The shift that unlocks movement
The freeze doesn’t break when you finally find the “perfect” line. It breaks when you decide the imperfect one is good enough.
That’s the quiet pivot: from performing to showing up as yourself.
The pressure to impress falls away.
The shame loop quiets down.
And the message stops being a test you have to pass, it becomes an invitation.
That’s when something changes inside you.
You stop proving.
You start connecting.
And that’s the moment courage beats polish.
When you’re ready to re-enter LinkedIn after silence:
Write your draft like you’re texting a friend.
Lead with recognition or curiosity, not a pitch.
Avoid apologies, they weigh the message down.
Shrink the step. Offer coffee, a call, or a single question.
Connection builds from clarity, not performance.
Send one message. Start moving again.
